Neal A. Maxwell book online

One of the most inspiring texts in my recent library. Here.

The quote I was looking for that took me to this site?

Longsuffering involves not only bearing our own trials and disappointments but also behaving patiently, empathetically, and redemptively toward others. In the spiritual scheme of things, the lubricant of longsuffering is vital. My willingness to try to do better, for instance, can be cut short by the discouraging expression of another's sharp impatience. Yet we seldom speak of this unglamorous virtue; perhaps we mistakenly confuse longsuffering with indifference or indulgence. Obviously there is suffering in longsuffering, including deep and repeated disappointment. But longsuffering does not give up easily.

Consumed by his selfishness, the natural man is anything but longsuffering. He is reflexively insensitive to and impatient with others, including those in his own family. Even when we are under way in the development of longsuffering, it is a long way from first noticing the needs of others to going on to exhibit real forgiving and longsuffering.

As with all of the eternal virtues, the family garden is the best place in which to grow and nurture the capacity for longsuffering. Daily family life is filled with opportunities to extend love and mercy. Building a tradition of meekness in which such spiritual transactions are emotionally inexpensive is such a blessing. The less pride, the less pouting. Qualities which do not sprout in that nutritive garden have a much harder time in the more arid climates and the thinner soil of the business, political, or academic worlds.

You put it adroitly: "It is better to put up with someone than to put him down." Still better, however, is lifting someone up! Sometimes we must do more than reach out gesturingly: with longsuffering we actually search for others' hands, because some have been disappointed so many times that their hands no longer even reach out for help. These are the "hands which hang down" (Hebrews 12:12).