Grammatics: prude or just rude?

Stirring controversy hasn't ever been an interest. Sparking thought? One could only ever hope. I had such a teacher, and he was one of my top mentors, in and out of academics. His obvious brilliance, blended with his (also obvious) humility was mesmerizing. I shared the following opinion on a blog post today:

Hello Natalie and crew,

If our toenails are curling at such as the inappropriate usages of the apostrophe; tired idioms; slang; or metathesis (aks for ask), maybe we have other considerations to examine:

As an editing minor in college, a top-notch Linguistics professor made a profound observation in an upper level editing class. It changed me: pointed out my pride, softened my hard-liner opinions and condescension. To paraphrase: "Most people know about 10-20 common grammatical errors, and go around beating the rest of humanity with them all their lives. In fact, most English teachers know little more than 20-30 'pet' grammar rules, and do the same to their students. English is a living language. Those who really know language, grammar and rules well are the most forgiving." I leave you to figure out why.

As an American living in Europe, I guarantee each of you says and does (not say and do) several things, perhaps daily, that would have you lampooned by your European neighbors. I hear of our comparable cultural "naivete's" with regularity!

With a passion for concise usage, I have my own (long list)! Did you read others' comments to this post with interest, as I did, weighing (and perhaps adding) their peeves to your own growing list? Do we hide behind our lists with an internal sigh of relief that we don't commit them? With a self-satisfied assurance that we know better?

I just hope that we are intelligent and compassionate people first. Before being smart. And sassy. Individuals able to humorously temper our idiosyncratic pet-peeves to prevent us from judging (instead of allowing learning, appreciating and connecting with) other people. I find it a fine line between knowing the "list," and wielding it against others in judgment (usually rooted in enmity).

Heaven knows there are enough smart, selfish and opinionated people in the world. Not to mention snarky. Such doesn't reflect education, "good breeding" or a spirit of compassion and grace. Each considerably unattractive - above bad habits, bad language or bad usage. Oh how we betray ourselves!

Friendly greetings from across the pond,

SW

Upon our deaths, how would it be to have been remembered for living with grace? The wonderful Ralph Waldo Emerson speaks my desires masterfully:

How do you measure success? To laugh often, and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a redeemed social condition, or a job well done; to know even one other life has breathed because you lived: this is to have succeeded.

Fighting back against the gray

  
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August and September's gray and rain have kept us inside, preventing us from exploring the beautiful nature around us. One of the unexpected antidones to my cabin-fever came from a song. The documentation of these extremes made me feel better about the hard time I've been having.

This sweet little song has popped up here and there on my "baby play" ipod playlist, and actually has kept me going on the hard days. Specifically, this line: "What I love most about rivers is you can't step in the same river twice. The water's always changing!"

Not a particularly big fan of Pocahontas, this version features Judy Kuhn, a striking voice. Props for bringing this song a second life!

The choices are clear when we're looking and feeling

I bumped into an new blog today. It made me realize I don't share much of my faith on this blog. Considering I find my spirituality to be one of the most dominant and important parts of my identity, this was an important realization. It is my spirituality that tethers me to personal peace, strength, and commitment.

Christine had a poignant picture on her blogcapturing one of my fav old testament stories. The story of the woman of Zarepath came to life for me when I studied in the Holy Land. Becoming acquainted with the landscape, culture, customs and history of this region brought a new framework to the Old and New Testaments.

In this story, the widow is preparing her last meal for her son and herself, when the prophet Elijah is directed by God to her.

Important to this story are the faith of the prophet and the faith of this woman. Elijah literally is relying on his God for every meal (and in the heat of the Middle East, that requires faith!). She is preparing herself to die for want of food. His promises to her require faith: after she gives, she will be given.

“And she went and did according to the saying of Elijah: … and the
barrel of meal wasted not, neither did the cruse of oil fail, according to the
word of the Lord, which he spake by Elijah” (1 Kings
17:15–16).

She then has her oil and meal multiplied. True to my life and maybe yours, trials come even immediately after her hunger is filled:

17 ¶ And it came to pass after these things, that the son of the woman, the mistress of the house, fell sick; and his ^asickness was so sore, that there was no breath left in him.

18 And she said unto Elijah, What have I to do with thee, O thou man of God? art thou come unto me to call my ^asin to remembrance, and to slay my son?

Her son has stopped breathing, and she wonders what kind of a prophet Elijah really is. Elijah is put on the spot, unsure of God's intentions. He takes the boy to his own bed, and prays. Unsure of God's purposes:

20 And he cried unto the Lord, and said, O Lord my God, hast thou also brought evil upon the widow with whom I sojourn, by slaying her son?

"You commanded me to find her. You performed a miracle. Her son has no breath. Is it you who brought this upon her?" And he show his faith by blessing the boy and praying for God to revive him. God hears and answers by restoring the boy. Elijah returns the boy to his mother, and she realizes he is, indeed, a prophet. There are many applications that I won't delve into here.

I love the remarkable faith of many of the women in the scriptures: Esther, Eve, Sarah, Mary, Ruth, mothers of the 2,000 stripling warriors. They make such an important contrast to some of the deceiving women figures in both the BoM and Old/New Testaments: Pharaoh's wife, daughter of Herodias, daughter of Jared, Isabael.

God knows his daughters and his sons, and is a cultivator of faith. If we have no faith, or a little; are waning or waxing in our belief and knowledge of his existence and plan -- it makes a difference to him. He will show his tenderness when we are willing to accept it. And often times even when we are not. We just don't care enough to see it.

Beautiful meets its other parts

I've been preparing for a lot of upcoming activities for our church youth groups. Among the topics are dating, morality, modesty and its relevance to life, what it means to have virtue and be beautiful in a world where that definition is as stable as the Richter charts.

I came across this fantastic little quote:

"Let the sisters take care of themselves," Brigham Young urged, "and make themselves beautiful, and if any of you are so superstitious and ignorant as to say that this is pride, I can say that you are not informed as to the pride which is sinful before the Lord, you are also ignorant as to the excellence of the heavens, and of the beauty which dwells in the society of the Gods. Were you to see an angel, you would see a beautiful and lovely creature. Make yourselves like angels in goodness and beauty."

Take that, cranky old critics who assert Mormon women are repressed and stifled. Take that, cranky old critics who assert the superficiality of looking your personal best. This statement places equal emphasis on being lovely as to being beautiful. And on goodness as to possessing beauty. Beauty begins with self-respect, and grows into self-acceptance and continues to bloom into a version of love and kindness to yourself that is mirrored in how you treat other people.

How to get better customer service

This article gives a few good tips on getting better customer service. Anyone who has provided customer service knows the truth of what he's saying.

Twitter killing blogging killing meaningful communication?

One man's twitter feed didn't load his tweets for 2 months. He didn't notice. Nor did a single one his 10K followers.

Is twitter ultimately meaningful for more than status updating? Point argued here.

Twitter killing blogging killing meaningful communication?

One man's twitter feed didn't load his tweets for 2 months. He didn't notice. Nor did his 10K followers.

Is twitter ultimately meaningful for more than status updating? He argues his point here.

Business greeting etiquette

As young children, my siblings and I were regularly trained by an graceful, elderly woman in the art of etiquette. As a young adolescent, I frequented our city library, checking out books by Emily Post and her contemporaries.

I still find matters of etiquette interesting, and challenging, in an increasingly technological, removed and globalized world. Basic codes of human kindness and morals will never change. How we function in our communication and interaction does evolve, however, as our surroundings evolve.

This article speaks to the issue of greeting someone in business gathering setting. The principles may be expanded to any social gathering, I believe. Some good insights to keep in mind when approaching semi-/strangers.

Here.

In short, writing well

I love the challenge writing presents. Its process is rigorous, demanding, and the finished product stares me in the face, daring me to refine it. Streamline the body. Use more economical and efficient text. Pare down. Use clearer language.

This post referencing Earnest Hemingway's style is interesting and helpful in this effort.

A snippet capturing the work of clean writing:

Use vigorous English.

It’s muscular, forceful. Vigorous English comes from passion, focus and intention. It’s the difference between putting in a good effort and TRYING to move a boulder… and actually sweating, grunting, straining your muscles to the point of exhaustion… and MOVING the freaking thing!

Ruling against Wells Fargo makes me happy!

Let's just say that there were a few college years (upon leaving the safety net of my parents) where I learned priceless lessons in personal financial management. Enrolling in the practical course of "managing your bank account," my primers were primarily near-poverty and sour banking practices (read here).

I don't feel sorry for myself, since much of America has (at one time or another) experienced such conditions -- or continues to -- and may not be fortunate enough to learn have learned the lessons offered by these hardships. Many lack the ability or can't find direct opportunity to find an exit door from them.

My #1 Lesson learned: if one is living from a debit card, is absolutely critical to never let your bank account balance fall below $100.
My #2 Lesson learned: Bank with a credit union, or some other institution with truly transparent and fair banking practices and fee system.

Admittedly, ever finding $100 extra in any month seemed impossible at the time. I tried, for example, to do it in $10 increments each month, and I nearly made it. Unfortunately, the bank made it literally impossible to ever get ahead, as the article's quote explains:

In a decision handed down late Tuesday, U.S. District Judge William Alsup accused Wells Fargo of "profiteering" by changing its policies to process checks, debit card transactions and bill payments from the highest dollar amount to the lowest, rather than in the order the transactions took place. That helped drain customer bank accounts faster and drive up overdraft fees, a policy Alsup referred to as "gouging and profiteering."

Even though I tried to reset my brain into equating $99 as overdrafting (aka -$1 balance), the unfair Wells Fargo practices still rocked my world. And those $26.06 bean burritos ($1.06 burrito + $25 overdraft fee) wouldn't have had such a bitter aftertaste (as the draft went down). Impeccable financial planning has no strength against unfair/scammy bank practices in their armor. Unfortunately, the situation so entangled me during this period that I never could get it together to leave this bank (always pining, "But I've been with them for 10 years!").

My secondary accounts still exist, but that is because a-my financial situation has bettered with the exit of this college phase, and b-the scammy practices they employed have been changed.

I have had every statement, organized by month, with overdraft charges highlighted, going back 7 years, and I have had them waiting for this day for over 4 years.

I look forward to hearing from you on this issue, Wells Fargo, even if it will only be my children who see the benefits from this legal decision.

Pregnancy's shadows and light

I am currently in the geographical location called Baby Bliss [somewhere between mile markers Total Exhaustion and Total Baby Independence]. Our babies are adorably affectionate, yet increasingly self-reliant (14 months). Every week their personalities unfold like little flowers in the heat of day.

I realized this because the post of a friend landed me back almost two years ago where the journey bringing these babies to our family unfolded. Through my first trimester and beyond, the road and the burden I carried felt at times incredibly lonely. No one but my husband and doctor knew about the pregnancy, and I felt like such a baby/wimp/loser for feeling so yucky all the time! Nausea and vomiting were part of the morning/afternoon/evening landscape into my 19th week. Exhaustion, depletion and emotional upheaval were unexpected and unwelcome house guests that I had imagined sheer force of will could put away. Wrongly so.

To read someone else describe her difficulties of pregnancy was an important experience for me. Jen's experience, while different, is yet similar, and validated my own. My pregnancy was wrought with divine miracles, intervention from Heaven, and continued direction from God. I am confident and grateful for the peace and surety of a Divine Creator that delivering two children has given me. It is an experience that furthered my conviction of the meaning of life. It was a holy time and these months are among the highlights of my short life.

In this reflection, I remember that is important to recognize the shadows and the brightness in the experiences of my life. Sometimes I want to flood out the dark with bright light: not wanting to be pessimistic, focus on the negative, or get stuck in missing out in beauties by seeing only what isn't bright. Finding peace with the shadows in our lives brings balance and counter to the light. Of course, without the darkness there would be no comprehension of light!

Accepting the challenges, pain, heartache, struggle and difficulty of our lives is one thing. Being able to live with them without allowing them to diminish all that is lovely and good is something more exquisite. A challenge well-worth the undertaking!

I am grateful for the rigors of pregnancy: they prepared me to understand something of the depth of emotion, selflessness and strength that motherhood is carving out of me. It hurts so good sometimes. And I love it all of the time. Even through an occasional tear or two. Motherhood is rigorous and absolutely delicious. I thank God, our Creator, that my husband and I are partners with Him in this work of parenthood.

Girls Only

If you are not a girl, and/or don't have that friend that visits every 28 days, give or take, skip this post! This information is from one sister to another.

Otherwise, I simply must include a rave recommendation for this product/concept. The brand of this product is less relevant.

I say only, don't mock "it" til you've read the reviews. Then tried it. And then, if you don't love it, talk to me. I'd be interested in your story. The only feedback I've ever heard is, "Why didn't I know about this earlier?" The details aren't tidy, but then again our "once a month" friend never was. And trust me. This makes it all about as painless as is possible.

Top 10 Reasons You Should Leave FB now!

I read this article recommended by my friend PW, and had to chuckle at myself. I began considering my own loyalty to facebook. Would I, too, leave FB for any of the author's "Top 10 Reasons" that he suggests?

The article is written with some hype, unfounded conjecture, and spook. I also see validity in some the author's assertions.

I hate that FB is taking over the online universe. Or Google/Microsoft/Apple, or any other incredibly huge force that seems to squash challengers just for the trying (!). True, huge forces bring incredible progress, but I sit somewhat uncomfortably until they are displaced (remember that one phenomenon called MySpace, as the author points out?).

Only time will tell.

Fat loss interval training

Right on to Mr. Ballantyne explaining interval training very clearly. My experience confirms every word he's saying. It takes a fair amount of discipline, but interval training has provided and enabled the most rewarding physical experiences in my life (ie thinking marathon training here).

And the side benefit was that it got me in the best shape of my life.

Can you tell I'm rearing up to jump on the bandwagon?

Yoga

And here's a great site for streaming yoga workouts.

They have a paid subscription, but I've linked directly to the free-workout-of-the-week page.

Great online workout resources

This is a lovely little find:

Not just the Red Carpet Arms workout, but the whole site.

Exercisetv.tv? Most excellent.

PS:
Dear Netflix,

Your recent deletion of the very best workout videos from your streaming movie collection is incredibly disappointing. Your current movies are L.A.M.E. Please bring them back. And please update with some from this decade. Not dissing the 2004 collection. Fresh is nice. Just sayin'.

Improving interviews

I am always interested in improving my interview skills, even when I am not in pursuit of a job. I think great interpersonal skills require constant attention and refinement.

Interviewing skills are invaluable: and most commonly displayed for most of us out of the employment search.

Here's one recruiter's insights.

Buy vs Rent

To rent or to buy? This has been a constant on my mind for the last few years, especially after our children came.

This article is a simple introduction into determining that answer in one's local real estate market.

Insight into the "Perfectly Imperfect Nature" in all of us

Not generally a fan of the Huff Post, but I do find on occasion articles that I appreciate.

This is one of them. Once I got past my judgment of her (by about the third paragraph) and began trying to ingest what she really meant, I began to appreciate her insight.

Never was a big fan of you, Tiger, but then again I'm not that in to golf. Best of luck, buddy.

Here.

Family.go.com

Nice site with fun fitness and weight loss ideas.

Throwing a yoga party for big kids? Fun.

Family.com

Nice site with fun fitness and weight loss ideas.

Throwing a yoga party for big kids? Fun.