This is what I believe

I have been struggling to share what is more important to me than anything. Anything.

Ann Madsen (Truman Madsen's wife) does an excellent job of teaching how to share it more honestly and effectively.

I really do believe it, after all. No; I know it to be true.

Airfare that is AirFAIR-->TIPS

The best advice, tips and tools I've seen into securing great ticket prices. Some I've heard, others are new.

Here.

And this is a pretty cool site not mentioned in the article: Yapta, an online service that tracks airfares for you after you buy (so you can try to get reticketed with a refund or voucher), and they've rolled out a new feature: Tracking award availability for frequent flyer miles.

Where you'll find me every night...

He and She have been enjoying biting away at this biography of Truman. He likes Truman; She appreciates learning about him (jury is still out on my opinion of the president). We watch a few episodes every night before bed.

What I hate almost as much as I love about these bios is that I'm not reading them. Why do I feel that reading is always more rewarding than watching? Unfortunately, I can barely stay awake watching them, so reading them would be an impossible mission. At least until I'm sleeping through the night again. Maybe when babies hit age 3. Or 18. Maybe?

PBS rocks.

Children Learn What They Live

It's been awhile since I'd read this, and seeing concern in my babies' eyes this week as I hollered to my husband downstairs and across the house for an errand (they hate any noise distractions when they are nursing, let alone any voice above a whisper), I thought of this prose:

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Not surprisingly, it is easier to correct than it is to praise, encourage and reenforce good behavior. But we all know the best form of discipline is pre-emptive. So I'm working on becoming a mother with a cultivated eye towards praise. If my children learn that they can best get my attention and engagement through positive words and actions, maybe discipline will become breezier than it was with the 15-17 teenage girls in the residential boarding school/treatment center where I worked in college...

Basic Rights

I came across a website with some points of interest for any with an interest in relationships. This page, in particular, is important for anyone to review. I found myself wanting on more than one point. Is it really necessary to point out 14 "Basic Rights" of a relationship? My husband and I thought it was nice to have what seems obvious spelled out. It's always good to check what you're giving out and taking in (Happy Halloween folks!). Should a relationship be any different?

Thank you BYU Women's Services.

Savvy parenting website

Cool parenting website.

Interesting post reflecting on the concept of a "parenting mantra."

Love this idea on setting guidelines (to be followed by all family members), in hopes of creating happiness and "deliberate living" in your own home:

You can gather nominations for your rules for living by committee. Take the occasion of your child's next birthday and ask friends and family to offer their secret to happiness as a gift to the child. It will give you a wonderful glimpse into the minds of your nearest and dearest, and it will give your wee ones (and you) wisdom from your village. What a gift.

Why time is better than toys

Like this op-ed by Orson Scott Card on parenting: why time is better than toys.

Looking back, what are the warmest impressions from my own childhood are surrounded by parental, familial, and other social interactions, often simple. Throwing money at something, though attractive in the short run, always leads to emptiness if it doesn't have meaningful followup. In my life, I often liked to play alone with the "things" my parents got for us, whether it was sports equipment or toys. I also have happy memories of my parents engaging with me using these objects. However, as Card points out:

In...our families, during the lean years and the fat years, Daddy and Mommy were the best toys, the best teachers, the best appliances, the best entertainment, the best everything. And they came to us absolutely free of charge.

He's right. Parents sincerely engaged and interested in their children are universally desired and needed by children, regardless of culture or time.

One of the most comprehensive sites on the basics of baby feeding (a.k.a. BF or breast feeding) I've found.

For help on the struggle to latch a baby, this page was transformation for me. (Illustrations of how to latch baby, so be warned.)

Sack it good.

I was the child who often threw away 80% of her sack lunches. As a result, I've always had a desire to trick out, or at least find the tricks of making good lunches for my kids (and more currently, husband) that will actually get eaten, and hopefully enjoyed.

Here.

BoM

While reading in Mormon 9 today, I had a taste of sweetness. One of those rare experiences where my mind is opened and instead of seeing the perspective of a valley-dweller, I see an aerial perspective. The pinnacle of my study is this verse:

27 O then despise not, and wonder not, but hearken unto the words of the Lord, and ask the Father in the name of Jesus for what things soever ye shall stand in need. ^aDoubt not, but be believing, and begin as in times of old, and ^bcome unto the Lord with all your ^cheart, and ^dwork out your own salvation with fear and trembling before him.

Carefully reading each sentence, then each phrase, then each word, it is easy to feel the impact of Moroni's words. Because I have, in the past, regularly spoken (in prayer) with the Lord with all my heart, the counsel was internalized in my heart. In my own words:

Listen and follow the words of Christ without resistance, emnity or skepticism. As you've done at other times in your life (you know how to do it!), focus on being believing by focusing your heart. This means focusing my spiritual efforts on understanding the Lord and my relationship with Him. If I sincerely care most about our relationship, one type of fear (the "carnal" fear) becomes irrelevant, replaced by a more divine and compelling fear (a "reverential, respectful, righteous and understanding" fear). The "carnal" fear is inspired by doubts, worries or inadequacies; the more powerful "respecting" fear is more powerful, a concern or even reverence for performing His "will." I believe the "fear" talked about in this scripture is akin to something many have experienced at some point: being given a high form of trust by someone you love, and who you know loves you deeply. This trust inspires you to be your best, doing anything to not let them down, or break what you've been given. This might be described then as "fearing" in holiness or trembling at the thought of doing anything that would break this mutual trust with God, especially after so much has been entrusted. I think the lost 116 pages is an example where Joseph might have had this experience. Or King David after his varied egregious sins.

I believe it is through this process of turning our hearts to Him that we begin to live a different life, and not only do we become worthy to ask for anything we need, but we also perceive those needs differently, and ask with a more worthy heart. It is this worthiness that allows us to ask in confidence and faith, knowing of this mutual trust. I am beginning to imagine how this mutual trust affects our understanding and commitment to covenants.

Grad school double-take...

Ms. Trunk asserts an interesting, if not heretical argument, that grad school is a pyramid scheme.

Some interesting points for debate to be found on the graduate school route.

Happiness is contagious?

Interesting report on a new study.