Children Learn What They Live

It's been awhile since I'd read this, and seeing concern in my babies' eyes this week as I hollered to my husband downstairs and across the house for an errand (they hate any noise distractions when they are nursing, let alone any voice above a whisper), I thought of this prose:

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Not surprisingly, it is easier to correct than it is to praise, encourage and reenforce good behavior. But we all know the best form of discipline is pre-emptive. So I'm working on becoming a mother with a cultivated eye towards praise. If my children learn that they can best get my attention and engagement through positive words and actions, maybe discipline will become breezier than it was with the 15-17 teenage girls in the residential boarding school/treatment center where I worked in college...