How to get rid of bad behavior: Positive Reenforcement

This scholar believes the best way to get rid of bad behavior isn't "tough love," but focusing on postive behavior and reenforcing it.

One exerpt:

Q. How long will it usually take for a child to change his behavior?

A. There's no exact time frame, but I tell parents to work on one behavior faithfully for a few days to master the method. Once you get the behavior to happen five times and you enthusiastically praise it five times, you'll probably begin to notice some progress. It'll keep improving after that. And while you're focusing on that one issue, handle other misbehavior the same way you normally would. After the first problem is gone and you're comfortable with the program, you should be able to work on two or three different behaviors at a time.

Q. But how can you praise your child when he keeps having tantrums?

A. Help him "practice" the behavior you want to encourage by making it sort of a game. You can start out by saying, "Okay, we're going to play a new game today. It's all pretend, but if you listen and do what I say, then you'll get a check on this chart today. Okay, ready, Matt? Remember, we're just playing a game. Matt, please put your shoes on." If he cooperates, praise him the same as you would if you weren't pretending: "Wow, I can't believe you put your shoes on when I asked you to! Are you sure you haven't played this game before? Let me give you a hug!" Because it's a game, your child will get excited about following your directions, and after some more practice sessions, he'll be much more likely to cooperate when it's not pretend. Research shows that this type of praise works for kids at any age. Parents often start off being very skeptical, insisting their child would never fall for a game like this. I just tell them to try it for a week. After a few days, I usually get a phone call telling me how amazed they are.